5+1=new thought.

i wish blogspot had that "what you are currently listening to" option...cause this song is hitting me like crazy.

Everyday Struggle by The Notorious B.I.G.

in this song he says

"Baby on the way mad bills to pay
That's why you drink Tanqueray
So you can reminisce and wish
You wasn't living so devilish s-shit"

this verse hits me sooo hard.


i cant even describe. well i can. but its unbelievable how Biggie says everything that i'm; in a sense; going through.

i mean i didnt actually get a girl pregnant...so help me God if i did that...but the words "baby on the way" for me could mean a one of my female friends seeing me soon, then theres "mad bills to pay" - im in college...nuff said - and then he talks about gin and how you get drunk to reminisce about times that weren't tough at all.

i couldn't beli.....sorry....i can't believe it.

but anyways...

i'm feeling quite heavy hearted and depressed.

school is depressing. not because everyone is leaving. its because some people make it hard to leave.

and its amazing how some people can become so close in such a short amount of time. i honestly don't know how to explain it. sometimes its fate or a blessing.

or maybe this is bad.

i cant tell.

but we had a discussion about when we go home.

and honestly i know when the time/ environment/ aura is right...i'm gunna feel it.

me missing them. and its not going to be nice. not by a long shot.


hopefully that doesnt happen. hopefully my mind is totally occupied this winter break.

with new memories and renewed happiness.


with that said....i wish everyone a happy holidays.

and if i don't see you dec. 31st...cheers bitches!

lol.

The La is Outtie.

the thought that makes it five. (he's white???)

okay. right now I'm quite tired and very much pissed. i got like no sleep and i cant watch the giants game cause of a certain situation. so yeah great way to start off the day.

but anyways.

last night. club amazura. BANANAS!!!




oh the reason i was there was not to party but to work. huge thumbs down for me. but still i had fun. i mean massive b and Mr. cee was djing so how can i not go nuts.

i met and worked for the iconic bobby konders last night...who would have thought that would have happened.

okay.

so...bobby konders is one of the BIGGEST reggae dj's in the USA maybe the world....

who knew that he was white?!?!?!

listen i mean i knew that he wasn't Jamaican or west indian for that matter. but i mean on the radio, he definitely sounds....well...as my brother says it..."like a nigga"...lol


okay so i just found out from my lovely neighbor jessica that bobby might be jamaican...


thats besides the point...

the reggae king is white?!?!


amazing.


OH!!!

and DJ Mr. Cee is a FUCKIN BEAST. there is a reason why he is called "The Finisher". and because of that reason i am going to club amazura for new years.

so with that said.

The La is Out.

thought four.

last night i came across a thought...

well a few.

one - i like to try new things...and if i like it, wear it out til it can't work anymore....i.e. blogspot...lol.

two - when in rome...dont make like the romans do...be different.

three - i really like chicken...lol

and four - if music was a person, then i would be in a 21 year marriage with her, still going strong.



this revelation came to me in the wee hours of the morning due to my roommates sleeping habits.

i ended up gettin 9 different albums last night...or morning...it was at like 5:30am

on top of that i ended up having spurts of lyrical genius...something that i have been and still will be struggling with.

speakin of lyrics...i've decided that its finally time to REALLY start working on some music of my own...something for me...something that i can be proud of...and something that can express me to the fullest extent.

i know i told a few people that i know that i was in the process of making a mashup album or what not....but thats gunna be put on the back burner and start working on a solo album.

start working on something that i'm more familiar with...

my voice and my guitar.


Chris Lane presents....i dont kno what the hell its gunna be called yet...but when i figure it out i will let you know. lol.

The La...out.

third thought.

okay i know that this is the third post within like...i dont kno....maybe 15 mins or something.

but i cant stop thinking.

my mind is forever on the move.

and i have at least 2 cups of gin in me.



but.


to think that i made it this far...in spite of all the negative people that have told me that "i'm a waste of time" or "that i'm not college material"...is something to be proud of.

and i am.

never did i think that the people that i'm supposed to look up to for support , were going to be the people that tell me that...in short...i'm worthless, that i'm not going to amount to anything but minimum wage and less than that.

they dubbed me a failure from the jump.

i was on program lists ever since i was in kindergarden. and to find out that i was secretly on these lists is complete and utter bullshit.

how does education - something that should be free (of currency and/or prejudice) - become politcal?

its disgusting and vile.

and i dispise it.

with a passion.

but nevertheless...i'm in college.

over half way done...but still a long ways to go.



so i ask this to the "mentors" in my past?

how will you feel when a failure like me...ends up better than you'll ever be?

second thought.

Living revolutionary, nothing less than legendary Gangsta shit hereditary, got it from my dad Flow colder than February with extraordinary swag

-T.I. - Swagga Like Us


me to the point.

very first thought.

blogspot.

what is all this hubbub about?

whatever.

anyways.

to understand me is to understand this....

love taken for granted with never return to you.

simple as that.